I want you to think back, for some of you it would be way back to when you were young and you encountered your first love. For some of us it may have just been recently that you had your first love. All you could do is think about that person obsessively all day, all night, you felt that your world started and ended with them. The excitement you would get when you were on your way to go see them, the nervousness in your stomach when you got there, the sweaty palms anticipating that first kiss. It was all so magical. The happiness you would feel whenever they would call or walk by you in the hallway etc etc. Your world just seemed so much better with them in it. The days you didn't see them or talk to them just didn't seem right, it felt like something was missing. The joy of your day was gone.
Overtime things changed, feelings dulled, fights happened, the honeymoon period was over. Then things ended. You were hurt, devastated, distraught and retreated to your personal fortress where you were safe. You started to build walls around your heart, you vowed never, would you ever feel that pain again. As time went on the walls grew taller and thicker. You stopped taking chances, you stopped trusting and you stopped believing in love.
Some days you would crave connection. You would feel brave and you would come down the stairs of your tower to make it to the outside wall but never open up the gate and cross the bridge for fear of being attacked. You deemed everyone that came to call was just like all the others before them who had hurt you. You shut down, you told yourself you were fine, you were ok, you were good alone and don't need anything like that as its all bullshit anyway.
Then one day, someone comes along and as difficult as it is, they break down those walls, you start opening up, trusting again and once again life is complete. You are alive, you are in love and all is great in the world. You start to have feelings again. You experience emotion again after you thought for sure you would be numb forever. However this is short lived and all is destroyed yet again. The pain and despair returns. This time though you are different. You've grown. You have learned from your past mistake of shutting down and wasting years of your life in isolation. You analyze, criticize, cry, release, forgive and make a conscious choice that this time, you are not going to let the fact that one person who didn't know how to love you, dictate your future of meeting the person who can love you.
We all make mistakes in life and in love. Despite personalty types, everyone is going to hurt you on some level (unintentionally). The decision is deciding who is worth weathering the storm with. There a quote I love, which is .. Love is not about finding someone you can live with, its about finding someone you cannot live without.
I have loved, I have lost and after having the greatest love of my life destroy me on so many different levels, I had a choice to make. I could either stay safe and avoid finding the right one or I could heal, realize the reality of the situation and keep a positive outlook that there is hope of finding the one who will be the right fit.
If we use a modern day comparison, love can be like shoe shopping. You see an amazing pair in the window and rush in to try them on, you are relieved they have them in your size, but you get them on and although it looks good, they just don't fit right. Does that mean you stop shoe shopping? NO .. hello who the hell stops shoe shopping lol ? It means you keep looking, maybe you go into every store in the mall, and maybe you don't find that perfect pair that day and you go home disappointed. But one day, unexpectedly you are walking through the mall, you have gone for jeans but out of the corner of your eye, there is a red pair of pumps that catch your eye. You think "man they are gorgeous but what am I going to wear them with?" Despite your hesitations, you go in, try them on and they are fabulous, they fit amazing and are even on sale! Those become your most favorite pair of shoes ..
If you have ever had a serious, true, rare love be thankful, some people never experience that in their life. Some people settle for mediocrity while others never fully open themselves up and allow love in. True love is magical, it will change your life. If it ends, it ends but be thankful that you were blessed to have that experience.
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